My friend Gerry can stand on his head, unsupported by a wall or anything, for five full minutes. He is 77 years old. Such dexterity at any age is worthy of praise but at 77, it could pass as a kind of earthly miracle.
My friend also likes to roar around town on his Vespa scooter. He doesn't comport himself as some sort of athletic iron man. But appearances are always deceiving.
I would love to know, for example, the kinds of physical activities he took part in as a kid. Sports, probably, basketball, tennis. But what about calisthenics? Did he ever use a push-up bar, gym rings, a fitness ball? And did he ever do cartwheels?
I bring up cartwheels for a reason.
An elementary school principal in Ontario has banned cartwheels in his playground. They are, he argues, much too dangerous for our children.
The principal has been persuaded that doing a cartwheel, a child (or I guess an adult for that matter) could suffer a concussion or neck and wrist injuries.
Until I read the story, the perils of cartwheels had remained a closed book to me. I needed to know more.
After an exhaustive search, I did find one reference to a death by cartwheel.
It occurred in 1849 in Oxford, England and it involved a 49-year-old man who fell out of a cart. He was run over by the wheel.
There were no other references to death, mutilation or serious injury due to playground cart wheels.
I further checked out the book Cartwheels by the sadly neglected author Lela McGuire Rustemeyer.
This is the true story of Ms. Rustemeyer's adolescence on the Idaho prairie around the time of the Spanish-American War in the 1890s.
It's called Cartwheels, but again, it skips over any reference to schoolyard injuries or death.
It's mostly about horses and wagons going arse over teakettle into an arroyo or a coulee, or down a canyon wall.
We have become an obsessively overprotective society when it comes to our children. The "no cartwheel" ordinance is reminiscent of that goofy law in British Columbia which says children must be escorted everywhere by their parents until they're in their early thirties.
We put crash helmets on four year olds manoeuvering their scooters. We drive them everywhere to protect them from the marauding elements.
If you are overly concerned about the physical safety of your kiddos, I commend to you a book called The Art of Lying Down: A Guide to Horizontal Living.
In it the author, Bernd Bruner, who also wrote the groundbreaking Moon: A Brief History, explores the joys of doing nothing, of just lying there.
In the chapter entitled "So Easy a Child Can Do It," Bruner describes how the Vienna World's Fair in 1873 went out of its way to find the definitive way a child should lie down. In the playground or anywhere else.
Very little could happen to your little boy or little girl who is simply lying down.
Injuries from lying down are as rare as injuries from cartwheels, but lying down sounds safer. No point in taking any chances.
In fact, we can all learn a thing or two about avoiding dangerous exercises like cartwheels by lying down.
Housed in the Wat Pho temple complex in Bangkok is the famous 150-foot reclining Buddha. It was been resting there for more than 200 years.
Beside it, the words: "What is this life if, full of care, we have no time to lie down and stare."
Click 'listen' above to hear the essay.
Entries for 500 Words 2018 have now closed. Thanks to everyone who submitted a story.
Let your imagination run wild
The Duchess of Cornwall
Check out the wonderful prizesthat you could win at the 500 Words Final, live on the Radio 2 Breakfast show on Friday 8th June.
Before submitting a story please read our FAQ and Rules pages. Please be aware that we are unable to send you a copy of any submitted stories, so make sure you keep one.
WHO CAN ENTER 500 WORDS?
500 Words is open to any child who is aged between 5 and 13 years old on 8th June 2018, and is a full time resident of the UK.
Chris Evans created the competition to celebrate imagination and creativity - not spelling and grammar! - so all children of all abilities are invited to enter.
HOW TO ENTER
We can only accept entries that have been submitted through our online form, using a registered 500 Words account. Parents, guardians or teachers can create a SUBMITTER ACCOUNT HERE
Entrants must follow steps 1-6 on the submission form to save their story as a draft, before submitting.
Please don't leave registration to the last minute! Entries are open NOW until 7pm on Thursday 22nd February.
Stories can be copied and pasted into the submission form within the account (please read our Rulesregarding this) or stories can be saved as drafts along the way.
Teachers can also save a whole class worth of drafts onto their account at once using our handy multiple uploader tool! Once happy, these can all be submitted simultaneously.
If you are submitting stories but would also like to apply to be a judge, it's best to register for a JUDGE ACCOUNT as this account will also allow you to submit entries.
WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?
Once stories have been submitted entrants will be able to download a 500 Words certificate to celebrate their achievement!
We'll be in touch in March to let submitters know whether their stories have made it through the first round of judging.
All entrants will be entered into a random ballot to receive tickets to attend the 500 Words Final at Hampton Court Palace on Friday 8th June!
Get writing, and good luck!
BROWSER SUPPORT: If you are having trouble with the site, please try loading it in a different browser, such as Internet Explorer, Chrome or Firefox, as it may be that your browser is not up to date. Simply copy and paste the link into an alternative browser.
EMAIL SUPPORT: To help prevent issues receiving account activation emails and competition updates, please add email@example.com to your safe senders list. Your email provider or security service will be able to provide details about how to do this.
If you are still having trouble, do drop us an email firstname.lastname@example.org and we’ll get back to you as soon as we can.